February 5, 2012

February 3, 2012

With the exception of Christmas and Groundhog Day, the Valentine’s Day season is by far our busiest time of year in-store and in terms of the sheer number of media requests we get. It seems everyone wants our ‘top ten best-sellers’ or ‘five tips to improve your sex life’ - and don’t get us wrong, we love the attention and we get excited any time anyone is looking to expand their sexual horizons (that’s what we’re in it for!) However, our co-operative structure and approach to sexual health and pleasure doesn’t lend themselves well to sound bites.

As such, these interactions leave everyone frustrated. We don’t get asked the questions we want to answer, and folks in the media don’t get the answers they’re looking for. Sigh.

The reality is that our co-operative is about individuals and not about groups of people. We can’t give catch-all answers about sex toys or sexuality because it is inevitable that those answers won’t apply to a significant proportion of the folks reading the answer.

At our heart, we are people-pleasers. We love customer service. We adore making you happy. We live for your satisfied smile when you leave our store with a shiny new vibrator or replacement charger for your Lelo (on the house, of course!) or because you’re just happy you found a new or interesting idea in our shop.

Ultimately, we so wish we could give easy answers to complicated questions that would satisfy everyone. It would be so easy if there was just one way to introduce a sex toy into your relationship, or just one way to have an orgasm or feel sexually satisfied, or just one way to keep your relationship fresh.

But that would make for a very boring collective sexual experience, wouldn’t it?

Our sex lives are not uncomplicated because we as people are intrinsically complicated. Being turned-on, or sexually interested, or romantically inspired requires more than just a vibrator or a box of chocolates - especially around Valentine’s Day!

Instead, for so many of us, feeling good sexually is about feeling respected, and valued, and yes, sexy - and each of us requires something a little bit different to feel good in our sexual minds and bodies.

If you’re struggling to come up with a way to make a special someone feel especially sexual this Valentine’s, we suggest starting with the special instead of the sexual.

What makes your beloved unique? What is their sexuality about? What turns them on? What makes them feel sexy? What are their fantasies? Do they have a favourite kind of sex toy? A favourite colour? A favourite position? These are all great starting points.

If you don’t know the answers to these questions, that’s even more exciting! This is an amazing moment to explore these questions together, and to make Valentine’s Day truly all about them. May we suggest one of our many themed Sex Decks for inspiration?

Still craving some sex advice? Check out our Valentine’s sex toy suggestions or our perfectly generic Top Ten Tips to Improve Your Sex Life or if you’re looking for some individual attention, come see us in-store, or drop us a line at info@comeasyouare.com

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January 28, 2012

Give Sexy, Get Sexy this Valentine’s Day!

When it comes to sex we’ve always believed the lines between giving and receiving are fuzzy at best. This Valentine’s Day we’re bringing that theory into reality by offering you something for yourself, just for giving something to someone else.  Everyone wins.

From now until February 14th, place any order over $100 and receive a gift certificate for $20 to spend on yourself!

If you’re looking for inspiration, check out our Valentine’s Day gift ideas!

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January 19, 2012

Check out what's new in sex toys, books, DVDs and workshops this month!

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January 9, 2012

What better way to survive the cold and dreary last days of winter, then with the always enticing and always creative, 6th Annual Erotic Arts and Crafts Fair? From pasties, to handmade lingerie to knit dildo cosies, we’re crafting it up with fearless and humorous erotic art that dares to challenge and astonish. This year’s fair returns to the Queen West, artistic hub, the Gladstone Hotel, and will feature extended hours, more vendors, a Cabaret as well as an all-out After-Party.

From noon until the wee hours on February 11th, dozens of vendors will be on hand working and selling romantic crafts, all under one roof for this one day. This year we are also adding a rollicking Cabaret to cap off the night starting at 9:30pm and going until late with a DJ’d afterparty. For all info and vendor submissions check out www.eroticartsandcrafts.com.

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January 7, 2012

While most of us are thinking about and planning for our resolutions for the new year, at Come As You Are, we're thinking more about our new year's revolution.

As a worker-owned, sex-positive sex shop, we fancy ourselves revolutionary on so many levels. Most importantly, we hope our existence provides a space where folks can gain the tools and the information to launch their own personal sexual revolutions against the tyrannical forces of shame and fear.

This is our raison d'être - to provide a small corner of the world where people can feel good about their desire and sexuality.

Let's face it, for so many of us, there are so few parts of our lives where we aren't marginalized or stigmatized for being open about our sexualities. The holidays can be a real reminder of how closed much of our lives are to honest sexual expression - especially for those of us who happen to co-operatively own a sex shop and suddenly find themselves scrambling to describe CAYA workshops to long-lost family without using the words 'female ejaculation' or 'fellatio', let alone 'blow jobs' or 'fisting'. Yikes!

The real revolution, however, is in our co-operative structure and democratic workplace.

Among the many beliefs we hold dear, we sincerely believe that most of you tune out as soon as we start talking about our business structure. We know that everyone would much rather talk to us about sex toys, or porn, or the time Shannon Bell ejaculated on our bookshelf during a workshop (repeatedly), than about our consensus-based decision making model, or our visioning process, or our very strong feelings about the Ontario Worker Co-operative Federation, or our membership process.

However, the United Nations has declared 2012 to be the International Year of the Co-operative and while we're always happy to discuss anything and everything concerning sexual pleasure, health, and education, we also consider it our duty to spread the good word about worker-owned co-operatives. We promise, our co-operative structure is actually the least boring thing about us.

Co-operatives are different because they are owned by their own membership and they are responsible to their own membership. For some co-ops, the members are the people who shop in the store (like MEC), but for other co-ops, like Come As You Are, the business is owned by the folks who work for the business.

This means that all of the worker-owners have an equal say in how we run the company (the products we carry, the workshops we run, the health benefits we get, etc) and there are no external shareholders and no big boss dictating how we do business and demanding we satisfy their need for profit.

Instead, we have completely invested worker-owners who have no interest other than making our customers happy, keeping the store running smoothly, bringing in more worker-owners, and hopefully making a living wage doing it. We've always believed sex toys could change the world, and more and more each day, we believe that co-operatives can too.

To find out more about our co-operative, check out our website or to learn more about worker co-operatives in Canada, take a look at the Canadian Worker Co-op Federation website!

Female Ejaculation & The G-spot Workshop with Shannon Bell

Monday, January 16, 2012. 7:30 – 10:00PM
Unique among female ejaculation pioneers, Shannon Bell's focus is on demonstrating the extreme power and technique of female ejaculation in a safe and fun atmosphere. This popular workshop begins with a live demonstration of the power and potential of ejaculation techniques, followed by a fast female ejaculation genealogy. Join us for an enlightening and inspiring tour that finally contextualizes both personal and historical g-spot knowledge. $30 | check out Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot

10 Rules For Happy Non-Monogamy Workshop with Andrea Zanin

Sunday, January 22, 2011, 5:30-7:30PM
So you'd like to be romantically involved with more than one person at once? Or maybe you'd just like to sleep with someone other than your one-and-only? Whether you're considering your first steps into non-monogamy or you're an old hand looking for a fresh perspective, you'll find valuable tidbits in this common-sense approach to enjoying love and sex in the plural. $30 | learn more about 10 Rules For Happy Non-Monogamy

Get your erotic arts and crafts on!

Are you a kinky crafter, a naughty knitter, a dirty designer or someone who is? We want you!

We're currently accepting applications for our annual Valentine's Erotic Arts and Crafts Fair (and cabaret!!) at Toronto's infamous Gladstone Hotel.

Fees are minimal (seriously, we don't make a penny off this event), the exposure is great (we get good media attention for the event and even have our publicist working the fair), and you'll get to bump elbows with other folks who share your passion for the erotic arts and meet your fans.

How do you feel about sex toys?

Have you ever wanted to make a contribution to (social) science? If so, we have the survey for you! Leah Shumka, a doctoral student at the University of Toronto, is conducting research into women's relationship to sex toys and she wants your input!

The survey is quick and dirty (in the best possible way!) and all information collected through the survey is anonymous and confidential. Best of all, everyone who participates will be entered into a random draw to win a $60 gift certificate at Come As You Are!

To participate you must: 1) self-identify as a woman; 2) be 19 years of age; 3) live in Toronto or the surrounding area; and 4) use (or have used) sex toys. The survey will be open December 15th through February 14th, 2012. The draw for the gift certificate will take place on February 15th, 2012. | fill out the survey

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December 19, 2011

Participate in a survey, contribute to research, and get a chance to win a gift certificate!

Have you ever wanted to make a contribution to (social) science? If so, we have the survey for you! Leah Shumka, a doctoral student at the University of Toronto, is conducting research into women's relationship to sex toys and she wants your input!

The survey is quick and dirty (in the best possible way!) and all information collected through the survey is anonymous and confidential. Best of all, everyone who participates will be entered into a random draw to win a $60 gift certificate at Come As You Are!

To participate you must: 1) self-identify as a woman; 2) be 19 years of age; 3) live in Toronto or the surrounding area; and 4) use (or have used) sex toys. If interested in participating please visit www.anthrosexsurvey.com. The survey will be open December 15th through February 14th, 2012. The draw for the gift certificate will take place on February 15th, 2012.

For more information contact: leah@anthrosexsurvey.com.

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December 17, 2011

As a thank you to all of our loyal (and brand-new) newsletter subscribers (and RSS readers too!), we'd like to offer you a little token of appreciation for sticking by us for fourteen winters, fourteen holiday seasons, and fourteen iterations of the vibrating duckie!

To keep things interesting, click on this here link to take our sex-toy-roulette for a spin. Prizes range from free shipping (boring), to massage oil (you're getting warmer...), to prostate massagers (too hot?).

Claim your prize here!

Holiday Shopping Tips

We can't think of anything sweeter to get your sweetie for Christmas or the holidays than the kind of erotic gift that keeps on giving.  Sex toys, porn, erotica collections may not be right for the family portion of your holidays, but as a secret tucked under a pillow or at the bottom of the suitcase, they're tops.

This is not to say that buying sex toys for the holidays is an easy task. Fortunately, we can help! Check out our holiday sex toy shopping tips, skip right to the $30-or-under sexy stocking stuffers, or splurge this season with a luxury sex toy!

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December 15, 2011

An interview with Kirsten McCrea creator and author of Hot Topic: Portraits of 20th Century Feminists new this month at Come As You Are!

So Kirsten, you've just got your project Hot Topic published by Maison Kasini in the form of the book "Hot Topic: Portraits in 20th Century Feminists," featuring oil-based portraits of all the feminist named in the Le Tigre's infamous "Hot Topic" song. What was your interest in producing such a project?

Yeah, it's so exciting to have the project collected into a book! It's just really nice to be able to flip through and see all of the images alongside bios of these amazing people.

"Hot Topic" has been one of my favourite songs for a long time, but this isn't a fan piece.

The goal of the project was to engage in a form of activism that was not critical of dominant culture, but instead celebratory of alternative social movements. The series depicts an informal “who’s who” of feminist icons from the last century, and it's my hope that these paintings will play a small role in preserving the memory of these influential underground figures.

In a world that celebrates manufactured pop stars but forgets the names of suffragists, I wanted to find a way to solidify the memory of the underground superstars whose creativity and ideas have made such a difference to feminists of my generation The paintings are exhibited along with a free ‘zine that includes a short biography of each person, allowing the gallery to act as an environment of dialogue and education as opposed to merely a visual space.

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December 10, 2011

The Santa Scene

With the new year on the horizon, and all of the wonder of the holiday season upon us, this season holds so much promise - and so much pressure.

Whether you actively engage in the Santa-scene (and we're not referring specifically to the annual yule-log-themed fetish party) there's a whole world of expectations and ideas of how we should participate in the holiday season. Similarly, there's a whole world of ideas about how we should think about and experience sex and love - and December holds the unique designation as being the month when these ideas and expectations combine and leave a lot of us feeling a bit lost.

We have devoted an entire section of our web site to holiday shopping tips and stocking stuffer suggestions but essentially, our ideas about Christmas shopping are kind of similar to our suggestions for folks just starting out in anal play: relax, go slow, and you can't go wrong with lube!

We're probably the only retail establishment that will tell you that the most expensive gift is not necessarily the best gift. We're also probably the only sex shop around that will actually let you know that it is alright to not buy anything at all. We will never tell you what to buy, or tell you what the most 'popular' toy is. We want you to find the sex toy, book, DVD, or workshop that's right for you - not the one that was right for someone else.

We truly believe that the only good sex toy is the one that works for you (or for your partner), and sometimes the best Christmas gift is swinging by our (new) shop at 493 Queen West, perusing our website together, or checking out a workshop to create a sexy experience rather than a sexy gift.

Holiday Shopping Tips

We can't think of anything sweeter to get your sweetie for Christmas or the holidays than the kind of erotic gift that keeps on giving.  Sex toys, porn, erotica collections may not be right for the family portion of your holidays, but as a secret tucked under a pillow or at the bottom of the suitcase, they're tops.

This is not to say that buying sex toys for the holidays is an easy task. Fortunately, we can help! Check out our holiday sex toy shopping tips, skip right to the $30-or-under sexy stocking stuffers, or splurge this season with a luxury sex toy!

We've moved!

After almost 15 years on West Queen West, Come As You Are recently moved on up to the Queen West neighbourhood in Toronto. Sandwiched between Queen Street's obligatory American Apparel and Urban Outfitters, the new Come As You Are is still on Queen Street West but is now just two blocks west of Spadina (on the south side of the street). Look for the blue sign! Check out the coverage and photots of our opening over at BlogTO.com!

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December 8, 2011

For fourteen years CAYA (Come As You Are) thrived in a little space just West of Bathurst on Queen. In fact, in its first year, the upstairs tenants were Peaches and Feist (fun fact for ya). Back then, sex and sexuality was different. I mean, that was before Will and Grace, before we all went online to jerk off, before Ellen or Rosie were mainstream lesbian talk show hosts and before the heartwrenching Boys Don't Cry hit theatres. It was a different time.

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November 23, 2011

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November 17, 2011

November 14, 2011

Goodbye to “The 701”

As some of you already know from the relentless Come As You Are rumour mill (or just the ‘for lease’ sign obnoxiously thrust upon our windows), this month we’re preparing to say goodbye to seven-oh-one Queen Street West. Better known as “The 701” from back-in-the-day when Peaches and Feist lived upstairs, this has been our collective home-away-from-home for over fourteen years, and the upstairs apartment has housed a continuous line of artists and activists from the beginning (we still get their mail...and their royalty cheques!)

We always knew this day would come. Little by little, our neck of the woods has been bought up by property developers large and small as independent property-owning retailers retire and sell. As West Queen West moves on, so must we!

As of November 15th, Come As You Are will have a brand new home where you always thought we were! Now, when you call and ask for directions, we’ll tell you we’re located about a block west of Spadina on the southside of Queen. That is, we’re moving on up to the eastside (of Queen West)!

Our new space is bigger, more accessible, and has ample space for our infamous hands-on workshops with Midori coming up in November and December (see the back of this newsletter for details). We’re also relocating our offices back to the store-space, so all of our staff and worker-owners will be accessible to answer questions and you will all be able to see just how we work harder to make sex easier!

To celebrate, the staff and worker-owners will be launching a full-scale production of Rent, uh, I mean, we’re throwing a huge party on December 3rd at 493 Queen Street West!

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November 1, 2011

Downtown, feminist sex store is looking for a full time (flexible hours) customer service representative.

Are you a detail-oriented, highly organized self-starter interested in helping others make healthy sexual choices?

Does the idea of using your problem solving skills in a democratic work environment sound exciting?

Are you looking for an opportunity to engage your love of meaningful work and collaborative communication skills in a company committed to progressive business practices that offers you a chance to share in the success of the company?

If so, we want to hear from you. Our co-operative offers an extensive paid three week training, the opportunity to actively participate in the direction of the company, staff discounts, paid sick leave, and health benefits. Staff also have the opportunity to become owners and shareholders in the company.

We are looking for motivated individuals with a minimum of one year of customer service or retail experience. Volunteer experience, bilingualism & sexual health/education experience are all assets.

We are committed to diversity in hiring.

Please fill out an application. Only candidates with completed applications will be considered. Deadline for application is Tuesday November 15, 2011. Please fill out an application at www.comeasyouare.com or email work@comeasyouare.com. Please download a Come As You Are job application as a word doc or pdf and e-mail or fax it to us at 416-504-7490.

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