summer 2008, no 43

Jamye Waxman: Monogamy without Monotony and Exploring the Female Orgasm

Jamye Waxman has talked to thousands of people about their sex lives. She's an author and sex educator who throws herself deep into her work (see her turn in front of the camera in Betty Dodson's Orgasmic Women). In anticipation of two October workshops at Come As You Are, we caught up with Jamye to ask her about her book, workshops, and why she never tires of talking sex.

Come As You Are: As the author of Getting Off, A Woman's Guide to Masturbation, are you constantly being hit up for sex advice?

JW: The most common question I get is ìWhat is the A-spot?î The A-spot is on the top wall of the vagina, farther back than the G-spot, towards the cervix. It's another spot, or option, if G-spot stimulation doesn't do it for her and she still wants to try internal penetration during masturbation, or if a woman is learning how to ejaculate. Not that any woman needs to learn how to ejaculate, she doesn't. But if she wants to, then the A-spot is another destination in her yoni-verse.

Come As You Are: One of the workshops you're giving at Come As You Are is called Monogamy without Monotony. Is that possible?

JW: It's possible to avoid long bouts of monotony in monogamy if you're willing to try new things. Relationships need to break old habits in order to feel fresh and alive, and even simple things like wearing a wig can change our sexual or sensual relations. So yeah, it's possible to break monotonous routines, but like other aspects of relationships, it requires a little bit of work. But it's fun work, I promise.

Come As You Are: What can people expect from your other workshop on female orgasm?

JW: To enjoy learning a whole host of things about the female pleasure zones, including different techniques women can use to achieve orgasm and different types of orgasms women have. Weíll talk about positions for maximum satisfaction as well as pleasure points like the G-spot and the A-spot. Weíll also practice our PC muscle exercises (cause they can make a good orgasm great!) and plunge into the world of female ejaculation.

Come As You Are: How would you describe your writing and teaching style?

JW: Fun and playful! I look at myself as both an educator and a facilitator, a person out there to share information with the group (sometimes in the form of too much personal information) and receive information from the group. I encourage participation as much, or as little, as each person feels comfortable. In workshops I bring lots of props and often share them with the group. And I encourage laughter. Lots of laughter.

Come As You Are: What's your favourite thing about sex (personally or professionally)?

JW: It's one topic that never gets old; it's part of our innate way of being. Sexuality is programmed into our genes, and something we can all experience in one way or another. And I love that it's something we can all continue to learn about and expand upon because there's always someone, somewhere, doing it just a little different than we are.

news

Sex Ed. Contest

We're life long learners at Come As You Are. In our curriculum, sexuality is just as important as math or home ec. This is the inspiration for our Scholastic Sex Ed Contest. Send us an email to contest@comeasyouare.com with the most unusual sex fact you learned in the school yard and later discovered to be untrue. The best entries will be posted on our website (anonymously, of course) and one lucky student will win a collection of educational DVDs to support their continuing education.

Austin Unbound: Toronto Premiere Screening

Join us for a special advanced screening of Austin Unbound by Eliza Greenwood From the age of three, Austin knew that his female anatomy did not fit him. In middle school, he changed his name and began to dress as a boy. Today, Austin identifies as a straight man and a member of the Portland queer ASL community. Austin Unbound documents this Deaf man's choice to get a double mastectomy, his life with his family and his experiences with his local queer ASL community. Screening followed by panel discussion with filmmaker and Austin. Saturday September 27, 8pm at Buddies in Bad Times Theatre, 12 Alexander St. Tickets available at the door, $5 or pwyc. ASL & English translation will be provided. Co-sponsored by the Ontario Rainbow Alliance of the Deaf, Lesbian and Gay Community Appeal, and Inside Out Film Festival.

Sex Workshops from NYC

We're excited to announce that Jayme Waxman will be visiting Toronto at the beginning of October. Her first stop will be a free book signing and reading at Type (883 Queen St. W.) on Sunday October 5th at 2pm. She's offering workshops on Monday and Tuesday (October 6 & 7), first Monogamy without Monotony and followed by Uncovering the O. Jayme has traveled across the continent giving workshops and is known for her frank and fun approach to sex and the body. To pre-register call 416-504-7934 or sign up online at www.comeasyouare.com.

toys

Aneros Peridise

Finally - an Aneros model designed for all of us! The Aneros Peridise is their first anal toy that is the designed for use by folks of all genders. As with all of the Aneros, the Peridise is inserted anally and can be used for solo play or while participating in other forms of sex. Using your muscles to grip the Peridise, the intensity of orgasm can be increased. Just as it is easier to grip a pencil than a needle, the Aneros Peridise advanced set is a bit smaller than the beginner set. $55

Hathor Love Lotion

The tantalizing Hathor Aphrodisia Love Lotion is made from organically cultivated essential oils. This sweet smelling non-oily lotion will provide a wonderful massage that will relax, stimulate, and prepare you for the night ahead without leaving the skin too greasy. $25

OhMiBod NaughtiNano

The makers of OhMiBod have built their reputation on developing high-quality sex toys that work with our already ubiquitous personal technology. Their newest creation, NaughtiNano, continues the tradition but offers a high quality, high powered vibrator that is a joy to use on it's own. NaughtiNano may be used with or without your MP3 player, is phthalate-free and variable-speed. $80

Pink Water

Pink Water is a great non-sticky water-based lube from the folks who brought us the original Pink silicone lubricant (in those fancy Italian glass bottles, no less). Pink Water is the perfect encore - everything we always loved about Pink, but now compatible with silicone toys! Glycerin-free. $12

dvds

Pirates 2

A follow up to smash-hit Babysitters, Cheerleaders is a super fun frolic that definitely lives up to its predecessor. A truth or dare game in the locker room becomes the setting for vivid descriptions of the girls' naughty adventures, and ends up in a wild free-for-all girl orgy. The spark that this movie produces is beyond belief! We loved every scene but we were simply gleeful over the detention room scene and Coach Kaplan's subsequent seduction. This movie will go down in history as setting a new standard for porn. $40

Belladonna's Fucking Girls 5

Arguably the crown jewel of Belladonna's illustrious career, this edition Belladonna's Fucking Girls 5 is our favourite of her girl-only series. Bella is the kind of director that makes sure all the charisma, chemistry and charm that's happening in each scene shines through to make the viewer feel lucky to be watching it! With an emphasis on real passion and a feeling of genuine enjoyment throughout, you won't want to miss the outstanding scene between Joanna Angel and Belladonna or Roxy Deville's bonus scene on disc two--watch her get up to some naughty housewife fun after baking some cookies! $40

Flatmate From Heaven

Flatmate From Heaven is the tale of a gay couple who rent out their spare room to the hunky Antonio, who earns his money on a little side-project---sleeping with other hot dudes for cash! As you can imagine, some of the clients end up getting a little more than they paid for when the other two guys keep joining in! Luckily, Antonio doesn't have to keep his little business venture a secret, and not to give anything away, but everything works out just fine in the end! For those who like a good story with acting, energy and lots of great sex, this will be a sure hit! $29

Good Dyke Porn

It is always wonderful to have independent Canadian movies, and even better when they totally rock! Good Dyke Porn is, as director/performer Bren Ryder puts it: exactly what it says it is. Shot well and starring some noteworthy performances with a healthy sprinkling of sexually-charged giggling and fun to harder power-play and fisting, this movie features real people that really love what they're doing and really give it up. $29

Seymore Butts' Do It Yourself Porn

If you've ever wanted to create your own DIY sexy video, Seymore Butts's Do It Yourself Porn is the movie to go to for all the tricks of the trade. Learn about supplies needed, lighting techniques, editing tips and more from the expert of DIY porn. Watch a totally unedited scene turn into a full-blown edited sex scene in front of your eyes, and also get a glimpse of what happens in the porn world when the cameras aren't rolling. Educational and fun! $29

books

Cross Dressing

This enticing collection covers a diverse range of erotic gender play where anyone can become aroused. Whether you enjoy wearing women's panties, dressing as a man in private or in public, or you just enjoy reading about other peoples escapades, this anthology is sure to get your libido roaring. Edited by fan favorite Rachel Kramer Bussel, with an amazing introduction from Veronica Vera, the head of "Miss Vera's Finishing School For Boys Who Want To Be Girls" CrossDressing is something new, something defiantly naughty to sink your teeth in. $16

Getting Off

Did you know that Graham Crackers and Corn Flakes were invented to help curb masturbation? It's true. That little factoid really makes you wonder why we have such a negative stigma on self-pleasure? In Getting Off, Jayme Waxman helps set the record straight with debunking myths and common fears people have about the M word. Filled with information on the history of female masturbation, to everything you ever wanted to know about vibrators and other sex toys, this book really puts the power back in the hands of women who just want to get off! $19.95

He Comes Next

At first glance you may think that this book is filled with techniques that will blow him away (pun intended), but the truth is, this book goes beyond just serving as a how-to on having great sex, but first and foremost provides a how-to on having a great relationship. (And, believe it or not, the two really are connected.) $32.95

Sexier Sex

How many of you out there have ever wanted to try something new? Something sexy, something your friends would consider "naughty"? If so, this is the perfect guidebook for the voyeuristic, seductress in you. Although written for women, much of the topics and materials can be easily applied to men. With chapters ranging from; self-discovery, flirting, and safety, "Sexier Sex: Lessons from a Brave new Sexual Frontier" is an honest and idyllic approach to technology and sex. $16.50

When Your Sex Drives Don't Match

What is it about sex that makes some relationships so hard? According to sex therapist Dr. Sandra Pertot, the dificulty takes place when mismatched libido types interact with eachother. What are the different libido types you ask? Well in "When Your Sex Drives Don't Match" Pertot gives ten different examples, from the disinterested libido to the addictive libido. With case studies, tips, excercises, and quizzes, this book helps identify, understand and work through common sexual problems. Written in a mostly hetero vibe ( just with the case studies), the advise can be taken in for any type of sexual relationship. A great read to steer your dwindeling relationship back on track! $18.50